Adi writes after 11 years

Mommy

11 years. Can’t really believe it; some days it feels like you were with us yesterday, but by now most days seem like we haven’t seen you a lot longer.

I miss you. Miss what you could have been for me once I grew up. Miss how we used to talk. Miss that I don’t remember most of the things you said to me. I miss your voice, & it hurts that I need to play certain conversations or (god help me J) songs you sang for us to remember your voice & intonations.

So many things have happened these past 11 years & I wish I knew that you could see it all, but even though I believe that you are out there- I don’t think it’s in the conscious Mommy way you were.

I’m not who I used to be. I’ve gone through so many changes- not only developments that usually come with age, but also changes that made me morph into a new person. I wish you could see me now, if I didn’t look the same you probably wouldn’t be able to recognize me. I’m happy with who I’m becoming, I like myself on this new road, but it scares me that you aren’t here to see the new me, it scares me that I’m not the person I was when I had a Mommy.

I keep telling people that I’m happy that I at least had 17 years of an amazing mother- much more than a lot of others. This is true, and every day I see how true it is (unfortunately), but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel the need for you every day. You really are the best mother I could have hoped for & that’s part of what made me, well, Adi.

I am glad for the 17 years you gave me, & I just wish I knew you were peeking in once in a while, just to see who we are & what we’re up to.

I miss you, 11 years over, & by now I know it won’t get any easier.

I just miss you.

Nine Years have gone by...

and we still miss you more than ever.

eight years

Mom,
Starting to write something without falling into known cliches is extremely difficult!
i don't like counting time, and the truth is that the amount of time since you left us is insignificant. What is significant is all the things we've all done in that time without you.
You have two beautiful grandchildren, and a third on the way. you have several more sons and daughters in law, and great nieces and more on the way. Adi graduated and starting studying education; Rahel got another degree and Ittay is a PhD. And so is Brenda, Brad's wife who's wedding in Chile you never got to enjoy. Katie graduated from Yale where Marge is also a student. Justin was in the peace core and is going to be a Physician's Assistant, Randy is a Gym teacher and is engaged. Yosi has applied for studies in cinema and communications and even i finally found a school to suit me and am knee-deep into my sophomore year.
We lost Saba, and Uncle Mort and Uncle Fred and Aunt Cory.
and so many other things happened that i can't even remember or list, and you never got to take part in it.
and we never got to have those little chats and deep talks and stupid arguments all this time.
and wonderful and sad and regular things will continue to happen. and you will continue to miss them. and we will continue to miss you.

2 pictures of Mom and her high school class

Pics Aunt Sharon had

Happy Birthday Mommy

where to start...
I miss you.
very much.

it's your birthday today and i've been thinking about you a lot lately. so many things have happened that i couldn't share with you. i feel like there's just so much we need to catch up on...
Adi got married, and Vered has Danny and Yosi grew up, and Brad and Roni got married too and Kate and Marj go to Yale and Shira made aliya and and and and and...
And you have two grandchildren. Rahel's Eugenia is almost two, and my little Raz will be one in three days. we're mommys too.
Can you believe it?
I'm a Mommy. and it's amazing. and i think of you with every little thing he does. every little change and every challenge. i wonder if we did the same things and how you handled it. i wonder what advice you would give me on how to do things. i wonder what outfits you would have sewn him and how many times a year you would find an excuse to visit...
and with every challenge and experience i thank you. i thank you for the hands-on upbringing you gave us and all my little siblings on whom i practiced the practicality of handling a baby. i thank you for all those subliminal messages when we were growing up that suddenly make sense to me as a mom. i thank you for raising me to be a strong independent person, so i can handle being a mom. and most of all, i thank you for teaching me to take such joy in every good moment: he's been sick all week and it's been really yucky, but then yesterday he was looking through his little photo album, which contains pictures of all his grandparents, and every time he flipped the page on to your smiling picture, he'd smile back at you and start giggling. and i thought to myself - what a wonderful world.
Happy Birthday Mommy.
Bru

Letter to Nana Rachel

Nana
I waited 22 years to have real Grandparents. I enjoyed you only for a year.
But there are so many memories...
The shower, my shower - you pinned the flowers on me - it was your birthday and you got so exited about my little present. You used to embroider too - so you knew all the "secrets" and the enjoyment of it...
The Seders. Both of them - but especially the last one. I paid attention to a line saying - "The mother of the sons is happy", and wanted to show it to you but the men went on with the service and I thought to myself - next year... and there is no next year...
One of the most precious memories for me - the dinner that we brought to you because you couldn't come to us and I wanted you to see that we really can cook... You said it was the first dinner your grandchildren did for you - and were so happy that there was no sugar in the cucumber salad...
Little and big memories make you whole in my mind. When I get to be a grandmother - you will be my example.
Thank you,
Genia